you need to first *walk in my shoes*....
And what kind of size?
I still really. You want to feel sorry for you and dimensionless poured into you love. It's inside of you and sat, I believe - opustoshennosti, sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, darkness. It's called Nigredo, black night of the soul. Is that you disguised the esoteric scoring internal voice reading of Ezo-books, furiously rwas from reality to surrealism, because art has no strength. A common thing actually for many (maybe even all, don't know). Reading books I criticized, that looked inside yourself and put the text... But the power is to not wait until you have someone regret it, comfort you, someone you love dimensionless pour someone something for you. And the power to itself pity, to comfort, to pour the dimensionless love and something for someone to do. And suddenly from somewhere the energy of the will, longing and loneliness with emptiness gone, and night replaced day.
I say the same - polarization, exactly the opposite is true, everything is mirrored from the point of view of the soul (psyche). In one children's song is sung:
"All gave,
Behind soul not a stiver,
More than you gave
The richer the soul."
over in the new Testament the same thing, again say. Not on it, just to give everything and walk with a knapsack on-road crash. And that is true happiness the soul gets is only giving, giving, doing something for others. And the more requires, expects and rows for themselves - the more unhappy and segnana becomes. And your expectations - they're... "like demons and the darkness in me"... Selfishness. Themselves like try better.
By the way, about expectations and the Buddha said desire is the cause of suffering...