Jokes about wish fulfillment :)

Логик · Post by **Логик** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 0:47

I bought the johnny the goldfish, brought home, put the jar on the table and said to her: "Grant me three wishes".
Fish only in response opens his mouth. Vovochka, taking silence as assent, continued:
First, I Want to fuck Pigweed Ivanna, the teacher our.
Second, I Want a new leather strap.
Third, I Want a bike.
And the fish just opens his mouth. And then suddenly call. Opens, and there Mary Jane. Worked, yelled johnny, and takes off his pants.
The teacher, seeing this greeting, the leather belt is enough and let's beat johnny.
He, understanding nothing, runs around the room, ducking.
Finally, seeing an open window, jumps into it and lands directly eggs on someone's bike. Jack craw out of breath and eyes wide, he pushes:
- That stupid fish. Well, still confused...!

Логик · Post by **Логик** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 0:51

One blonde asks another:
What did you dream?
- I dream that once I will meet the fairy that will give me a hundred thousand dollars.
- Why not a million?
Well, a million is not real.

Логик · Post by **Логик** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 0:54

There are two gin.
- Hey, bro! Che is you book going?
- Yes, you know, we are now self-service. The client thinks will get him the necessary literature - and then he does everything himself.
- So what is he thinking of?
- 1) the Grub
2) Grandmother
3) Blowjob
And what books are you dragging him?
- 1) homemade Recipes.
2) How to steal a million.
3) Exercises for yogis!

Логик · Post by **Логик** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 0:55

- I have in the pool have a goldfish. Make three wishes...
- What?
- Guesses!

Логик · Post by **Логик** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:14

A lesson in summer ecological school. Teacher:
- So what can we learn from the tale Of Pushkin "the fisherman and the fish"?
Gets the girl-the little one:
- This story teaches us that the irrepressible growth of consumption in the modern capitalist world inevitably will lead mankind to environmental and humanitarian catastrophe!

Post by **Маг.нет** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:50

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:24

— And what's that sound over there? – Alice asked, nodding at a very secluded thickets some nice vegetation on the edge of the garden.

And it wonders – calmly explained the Cheshire cat.

And... And what are they doing? – asked the girl, blushing inevitably.

— As expected, – cat yawned. – Happen.......

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:29

Come to Goodwin! He'll give me brain!
— I like a good heart.
— And me?!
Will you be a donor.......

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:30

I was given a talisman that attracts money.
Hung it in front of the windshield.
The next day I got hit by an armored car.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:37

- All right, enough fooling around, time to earn money, ' muttered Harry Potter, painting his wand in black-and-white stripes.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:07

- Who are you?
- The fairy godmother!
- And why with an axe?..
The mood today is not very...

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:14

- Opened a new network project - Visibible. Everyone can make changes in the creation story and the subsequent events.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:15

- Why are you so happy?
- The gold piece in the pool found!
- So it's all puddles pozamerzali!
- And me his janitor scrap steward dug!..

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:18

The millionaire interview:
- Tell me the secret of your success?
Patience my friend, patience.
But I can name a thousand things that will not help any patient.
- For example?
- Carry water in a sieve.
- You are right, just need to take a sieve and have the patience to wait until winter.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:27

I can imagine that progress!
- What's it to you?
- Before, to bring rain, the shaman beat a tambourine or sacrificed virgins.
- And now?
It is enough to wash the car...

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:46

Once David Copperfield covered the statue of Liberty with a veil and she was gone.
"A miracle," thought the people.
"Holy shit," thought Copperfield.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 13:50

Stopped Bogatyr at the crossroads, and the stone inscription - "No options..."

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 14:15

- Astronomers have found in space orange-green-purple hole. She is as mysterious and dangerous as the black, but it is much more fun.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 14:28

Scientists finally managed to create a perpetual motion machine. From usual it differs in the absence of the button is "Off".

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 15:05

- I want to earn 10 000 000 a month, like my father!
- He earns so much?
- No, he, too, dreams!

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 15:10

- Would you like to live a million years?
- All or more?

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 15:11

- Good morning, dear listeners! You just heard a transmission about the safety of approaching our Galaxy's black hole. In Moscow still 14 hours and 11 minutes.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 15:13

If You do not miracles happen, so maybe You live a counterfeit version of life.

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 16:20

The old-timer, lived 180 years, ask:
-How did you manage so much to live? Probably did not drink, did not smoke?
-Yes, that too. But most importantly - I missed the Titanic...

Sincerely, MAG.no

Post by **Маг.нет** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 18:01

A letter found in a bottle in the middle of the ocean: "Are on a desert island. No cars, no shops, no smog, no noise. Do not try to find me! "

Sincerely, MAG.no