Humor
Re: Humor
Gently hinting Michael on the effectiveness of development "Zones" in the form of insoles due to the fact that almost all of the body "presented by the" Baht on the foot , and at the same time that the already existing "Zone" can cover the whole body through the ears, almost did not doubt, and also the standard theme
the topic of this protruding part of the body, often suffering whole track time will also be "charged" and cause interest among the proletarians of physical labour of the 19th century and proletarian intellectuals of the 21st. Especially for fans of other people's berries It to grandmother... er, to Michael for radar did not go.
\Yes, and with "Zones" on the ears would recommend to try - gluing is not necessary, it is possible to tuck under a ski cap
Do we test with reports in parallel(even before ) with "ensures high" \
the topic of this protruding part of the body, often suffering whole track time will also be "charged" and cause interest among the proletarians of physical labour of the 19th century and proletarian intellectuals of the 21st. Especially for fans of other people's berries
It to grandmother... er, to Michael for radar did not go.\Yes, and with "Zones" on the ears would recommend to try - gluing is not necessary, it is possible to tuck under a ski cap
Do we test with reports in parallel(even before
) with "ensures high" \
Re: Humor
viewtopic.php?p=145502#p145502]
Well the truth is we can't leave Junior all unattended?... and suddenly he tail in the socket with the usual electric shock stick?... ay-ay, what can be the consequences... matches children are not toys..
<
Alas, I unfortunately was right - the infant calming is not powerful enough... this youngest unit probably bought your...uh...features before... more so, probably, he would have to attach some periodisches-reincarnation of mind?...У-Луна wrote:Fully support the appeal to the senior officer Tovarisch...
The removal of the loudly-advertised by youngest brother-an active member-Falcon-flocks of ignore my posts - it's always alarming bell...
before, and maybe now, too - it, withdrawal means the need for a reverent, careful, parent-carer external influences on Philistine and therefore explicitly stress unstable uncle's condition...
Expect a caring and deep peace NATO intervention gentle, patronizing the EU themselves (themselves!!!) the mighty USA in this distressing for uncles the process - until, obviously, before... the intensity of the man's still not the same...
But senior in rank tovarischi quite the same mozhut (individually, individually!) to consider the transition from autumn to winter climatic worsening of depression, and fencing!... to protect small, defenseless, helpless youngest uncle, the sorcerer from his own unbearable, uncontrolled infantile emotional impulses until they, gusts, finally it did not break... well, there is some special tool, or an infant calm, for example...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjOsrx4vKVI[/youtube]
And not that it is a pity this particular ptichku - but while ptychka still alive, she remains a ghostly, almost nonexistent, but a chance to make at least pale childish imitation of a man...
Even here the habit of writing "in instance" modest donosiki - it's the memory of a human... only people have fun this way, so all is not lost...
And here mozhut are senior in rank tovarischi to be a great mother for the youngest uncles=infant-as an active member?...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJUF1ORruZ8[/youtube]
Well, do not lose anything from superiors tovarischey the right word...
A soothing infant youngest uncle, perhaps, the button will finally find?... creating your own nervous subject?... which may (but, alas, not at all!), can learn to understand the Russian language and its individual words according to the context of their usage... and who knows? - try to understand why there are specialists, such as psychologists?...
Well the truth is we can't leave Junior all unattended?... and suddenly he tail in the socket with the usual electric shock stick?... ay-ay, what can be the consequences... matches children are not toys..
<Re: Humor
U-Lenushka, Oh honey, what kind of e-crap?! 
In a paroxysm of sin I-self-citation can fight each in a quantity of up to 4 copies of a draft in 3 branches!
The most stupid, even I, have long realized that my goal is happiness, and because I am a Greek Slave!
And that the berries in my diet is even worse than Turkish tomatoes!
And misuse of the ears, except for the wearing of earrings and as the erogenous zones — reprehensible!
But what was to drive me out of their branches Schaub to race with it behind me on 2 others?!!! (that's a Terrible thing - a woman's love! )
Come on, take off your embargo, cancel sanctions, give them at least a visitor visa and there, in the comfort of your reservation, we will play
and your favorite game "MS-Slave",
and, nalepil green paper on the ears, will importozameschenie "9 1/2" (Brave, catch the hint about the conjunction of sexuality with the money for their own photoshop — the combination of the ear, notes and lips),
and can you tell me about the game "Prognostic" !
In a paroxysm of sin I-self-citation can fight each in a quantity of up to 4 copies of a draft in 3 branches!The most stupid, even I, have long realized that my goal is happiness, and because I am a Greek Slave!
And that the berries in my diet is even worse than Turkish tomatoes!
And misuse of the ears, except for the wearing of earrings and as the erogenous zones — reprehensible!
But what was to drive me out of their branches Schaub to race with it behind me on 2 others?!!! (that's a Terrible thing - a woman's love!
) Come on, take off your embargo, cancel sanctions, give them at least a visitor visa and there, in the comfort of your reservation, we will playand your favorite game "MS-Slave",
and, nalepil green paper on the ears, will importozameschenie "9 1/2" (Brave, catch the hint about the conjunction of sexuality with the money for their own photoshop — the combination of the ear, notes and lips),
and can you tell me about the game "Prognostic" !
Re: Humor
Not made of small doso
Ignore own kind...
He is against his own "words"
Rose – and again, yelling... (there should be another term, but you have to do is polite euphemism)...
Well, what to do? - test report N-TSAT (well, bolshoooy stretch) is accepted anyway... experiment over the last...
So, the intermediate results at the current moment of time:
absent in sight the intelligence is replaced by "wild" temperament (Yes, which in this case is the temperament!!! - any hysterical girls will be jealous...)
- masochistic tendencies are gradually brought outside...
- infantilism slowly but steadily becomes deeper.
- the level of "humor" gradually descends even below the initial Pietrasanta...
The results, of course, still disappointing but indicative estimate was five to seven years... so I will continue to watch...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRwO14kUhmg
Ignore own kind...
He is against his own "words"
Rose – and again, yelling... (there should be another term, but you have to do is polite euphemism)...
Well, what to do? - test report N-TSAT (well, bolshoooy stretch) is accepted anyway... experiment over the last...
So, the intermediate results at the current moment of time:
absent in sight the intelligence is replaced by "wild" temperament (Yes, which in this case is the temperament!!! - any hysterical girls will be jealous...)
- masochistic tendencies are gradually brought outside...
- infantilism slowly but steadily becomes deeper.
- the level of "humor" gradually descends even below the initial Pietrasanta...
The results, of course, still disappointing but indicative estimate was five to seven years... so I will continue to watch...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRwO14kUhmg
Re: Humor
Vooooot yayayayaya... and about tooom geeee... but what can you do?... where else can study in detail the youngest uncle-with-a-claim-on-volshebnika that he was asking you were asking and still asking for it?... I immediately said that is not suuuuure, I preduprejdali and now I have occhetti forward... and there is still years-TSAT skuuuuuiieeee hopeless... pointless even longer Pietrasanta and other "of volshebstva"... 
-
Иван Славов
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Иван Славов
- Posts:979
- Joined:Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:35
- Has thanked: 650 times
- Been thanked: 150 times
Re: Humor
— Sir, I got it!
— Who? — asked the Dark Lord, not looking up from his work.
— The Sword Of Light! The one that can kill You.
— Oh, that... Well, put there on the shelf.
Humpbacked dwarf thrust brought a bundle on the shelf and fell at the feet of his master.
The day after the night of the Great Confrontation, as if by accident he said.
— So what? Indifferently shrugged the Dark Lord.
The victim, sir, said the dwarf. — It is necessary to find more.
No need to search — waved the Dark Lord and put aside another peeled potatoes.
But a ritual...
— There will be no ritual! — Strictly frowned the Dark Lord. — You have time to get used to.
The dwarf frowned.
— My Lord! You live in the wilderness for a year and half! You breed geese and grow cabbage! In that time, could rule the world by right of the strong! Where Are Your Legions Of Death? Where crowds of faithful servants? Palaces, dungeons, rows of gallows – where is it? Great conquests, heinous acts - all gone to hell. Look Good and Light triumph everywhere, even children are not afraid to walk at night along the streets. How can You tolerate that, sir?
— I've already explained, ' said the Dark Lord. —Good always wins and Evil loses. There is no sense to start a hopeless case, wasting time and money if there is not the slightest chance of winning. And I, you know, like to win. And the only way!
— But how, my Lord? While You are here languish in obscurity, the Light is gaining strength...
— That's it! — Raised finger of the Dark Lord. — Gaining strength. And that it this power would do? What will make?
He took a new potato and began slowly to cut the skin.
— What will the Good when he finds out that the fight he had no one? I here he is, sitting, not rock the boat, does not manifest itself. And the rest – so, little one, any light character on one tooth. And then what? The monster runs out, and the teeth will stay. And not one but as many as thirty-two. Who do you want to chew then?
Purified potato plopped into the pan, the Dark Lord took an onion and began to rasp it finely.
Another three or four months, and a Good start to freak out from boredom. Bright knights will return to their land and begin to manage them. And it is not at all good at it. There will be territorial disputes, and bickering, and strife, and excessive taxes. The priests again will remember their monasteries, will gather to debate, to argue themselves hoarse and fight until you are divided into different schools and directions, as happened more than once. About mages I can't say. Elves, men and dwarves remember the old racial prejudices, stir up past grievances and inflict new ones. The soldiers, accustomed only to fight, will very soon go to the polls robbers. Thieves... well they have always been personalities without shame and conscience. And the struggle for power? You see, what now is bickering around the throne! And all this, mind you, without my intervention! Solely by virtue of our human nature... You don't remember, I salted the soup or not?
— When I don't.
The dark Lord salted their soup, tried and salted again.
— The ability to manage and ability to reach the top – it's two completely different talent. And they very rarely go together. So, most likely, will come to power in the end some very tenacious and crafty type who can where bribery, where blackmail and direct threats to keep all others in subjection. And is concerned it will be primarily their own well-being – sometimes it would just not climb so high. Then...
He paused and then smiled wistfully, never ceasing to stir the soup.
What then? They did not dwarf.
— Oh, nothing. Then I'll wait another three or four years, until the complete devastation and the people do not howl. And then take the Sword of Light, saddles our Voronoi if he doesn't die by the time and go around the country, administer the exploits right and left. To the bitter end. Because, he allowed himself a short gloating smile, good always wins<
— Who? — asked the Dark Lord, not looking up from his work.
— The Sword Of Light! The one that can kill You.
— Oh, that... Well, put there on the shelf.
Humpbacked dwarf thrust brought a bundle on the shelf and fell at the feet of his master.
The day after the night of the Great Confrontation, as if by accident he said.
— So what? Indifferently shrugged the Dark Lord.
The victim, sir, said the dwarf. — It is necessary to find more.
No need to search — waved the Dark Lord and put aside another peeled potatoes.
But a ritual...
— There will be no ritual! — Strictly frowned the Dark Lord. — You have time to get used to.
The dwarf frowned.
— My Lord! You live in the wilderness for a year and half! You breed geese and grow cabbage! In that time, could rule the world by right of the strong! Where Are Your Legions Of Death? Where crowds of faithful servants? Palaces, dungeons, rows of gallows – where is it? Great conquests, heinous acts - all gone to hell. Look Good and Light triumph everywhere, even children are not afraid to walk at night along the streets. How can You tolerate that, sir?
— I've already explained, ' said the Dark Lord. —Good always wins and Evil loses. There is no sense to start a hopeless case, wasting time and money if there is not the slightest chance of winning. And I, you know, like to win. And the only way!
— But how, my Lord? While You are here languish in obscurity, the Light is gaining strength...
— That's it! — Raised finger of the Dark Lord. — Gaining strength. And that it this power would do? What will make?
He took a new potato and began slowly to cut the skin.
— What will the Good when he finds out that the fight he had no one? I here he is, sitting, not rock the boat, does not manifest itself. And the rest – so, little one, any light character on one tooth. And then what? The monster runs out, and the teeth will stay. And not one but as many as thirty-two. Who do you want to chew then?
Purified potato plopped into the pan, the Dark Lord took an onion and began to rasp it finely.
Another three or four months, and a Good start to freak out from boredom. Bright knights will return to their land and begin to manage them. And it is not at all good at it. There will be territorial disputes, and bickering, and strife, and excessive taxes. The priests again will remember their monasteries, will gather to debate, to argue themselves hoarse and fight until you are divided into different schools and directions, as happened more than once. About mages I can't say. Elves, men and dwarves remember the old racial prejudices, stir up past grievances and inflict new ones. The soldiers, accustomed only to fight, will very soon go to the polls robbers. Thieves... well they have always been personalities without shame and conscience. And the struggle for power? You see, what now is bickering around the throne! And all this, mind you, without my intervention! Solely by virtue of our human nature... You don't remember, I salted the soup or not?
— When I don't.
The dark Lord salted their soup, tried and salted again.
— The ability to manage and ability to reach the top – it's two completely different talent. And they very rarely go together. So, most likely, will come to power in the end some very tenacious and crafty type who can where bribery, where blackmail and direct threats to keep all others in subjection. And is concerned it will be primarily their own well-being – sometimes it would just not climb so high. Then...
He paused and then smiled wistfully, never ceasing to stir the soup.
What then? They did not dwarf.
— Oh, nothing. Then I'll wait another three or four years, until the complete devastation and the people do not howl. And then take the Sword of Light, saddles our Voronoi if he doesn't die by the time and go around the country, administer the exploits right and left. To the bitter end. Because, he allowed himself a short gloating smile, good always wins<
good always wins 
Re: Humor
TALES OF THE OLD MAGICIAN: MASTER OF ARTIFACTS
Fig is a very powerful weapon, like a laser, and always themselves . Remember-as styes treated? With the help of figs after all!
Like that warm autumn night, Tom was engaged in the diagnosis on a photo using a mirror. It is an interesting thing, at first she was just looking at the picture in its natural form. Photo as photo. In nature, it is quite decent. That's just behind the patient has too many dry twigs, something I don't like it - thought Tom.
And then began to look through the mirror. And in the mirror were interesting things. First appeared the human aura, all stained and torn in places. Then the internal organs, and once it became clear the affected area, and then the skeleton. Here, too, was very interesting. And that's when Tom began to look at obtained multilayered picture, as the mirror blinked, blinked, dazzled and went out... the Petals on the frame as something strange began to tremble and froze absolutely still.
-Well ,here. - angrily said Tom. - Stuck.What now??
-Set up lost - said the Grandfather - it is necessary to call the dragon.
The tiger quickly ran to the open window and roared to the heavens. After a while I heard the distinctive noise membranous wings and flew out the window of the Golden dragon, the Wizard. To fly he flew, but what he was kind!!!! It seemed that the wings are living life and just dragging the unconscious carcass of the dragon on autopilot. Zoltan's eyes were closed and head on a long neck dangled somewhere below the front legs, which stubbornly clutching the bag with the tool.
-Yeah, - handed Grandfather. - Where is he???
Tom caught a dragon by the tail
-Where have you been?
-Beer drinking-answered a menacing dragon and hiccup...with flames
-Eww,the volatile spirit lamp!!!- did Santa -if you're drinking beer, that I was the Loch Ness miracle.
Zoltan opened one blue eye, raised his clawed index finger and proudly said
-And beer too! Where's the patient? - he opened the other eye, fumbled the bag, took out a hammer and flew towards the mirror.
When he approached a dangerous distance to the silver surface, clutching the hammer, the petals of the fiery frame suddenly came to life, bristling and fired into the Zoltan jet flame. The fire covered the whole dragon ,who suddenly sprawled in the fireball, in the bathroom, and obviously relished in it. And then just hung on the frame of the mirror and began to snore, and with tints...
-All caked.
-Yeah, and where is he naugoschalis???-thoughtfully scratched his nose Grandfather
Smells of brandy from my private stock Master - said Tom, gently taking the dragon with the mirror. - recently Dumbledor him a present of a barrel sent me.
-Something I've been to the Tavern did not go - said the Grandfather of the heavens.
-And the mirror what to do? Because I have to work, and Zoltan sleep for three days, four asked Tom.
-And get straight to the Wizard of artifacts it to Rodion. And I'll show you.
-Well, Yes, Yes. It's on the way to the Tavern .
And with Zoltan what to do - asked Tom. looking like a grass-snake tore off two petals of flame from the frame, wrapped them and went to sleep in the resulting fireball.
Ball lightning with Zoltan inside slowly began to drift around the room , occasionally shooting sparks.
-It will burn all inadvertently?
-Mdaa, the problem. Will have to take it with you and carry you to the communal fire. There send him home.
Grandfather had found a large clay pot , wrapped the neck rope, so it was easier to carry and caught a plasma ball . The operation was almost without problems, except that Zoltan sneezed in the dream, the flame and got into the beard of Santa. But a little bit, so the span...
Tom also gathered ,wrapped the mirror in a heat-resistant shawl, put it in the backpack and went with my Grandfather on the path in the Enchanted forest. Passing through the spring in the forest ,Tom asked
-What .if Zoltan dunk in the water? Can sober up?
Then out of the pot popped out a scaly paw and formed in Fig. With thumb dragon fell through a narrow jet flame and cut off the tip of the young tree. Tom just gasped in surprise.
-Figs You! - proudly said Zoltan, and again disappeared in the pot.
-Deed!! What is it?
Fica,a Fig...figure of three fingers-grinned Grandfather.
-But why she shoots?
-Yeah, think about it then? Because the hand is the focus and the end of the energy centers. Fingers when folded into a fist, concentrating all manpower in one place - the centre of the palm, and the thumb is the barrel through which is emitted a charge of the force. It turns out that a Fig is a very powerful weapon, like a laser, and always themselves . Remember-as styes treated? With the help of figs after all!
-Yes - Tom smiled - present police reports from the scene? "Weapon inflicting defeat Guys!"
-To apply using figs serious defeat, it is necessary to have not sickly personal energy, but how will the discharge impact does each.
So in conversation and came to the house of the Master of artefacts.
Knocking, entered the House-workshop. Large bright room was lined with a variety of stanochki, and utensils on the table laid out different instruments, from surgical to forge, near the stove lay churbachki trees of different species, is clearly not for kindling. In the cupboard by the window , with the stack you could see the bars of metal and different colors lumps of raw gems, from simple granite to posverkivaya noble.
In another closet was already finished artifacts. What a party it was! Museum of NII CHAVO IN the Solovtsov would give his entire Fund in a couple of artifacts of the Wizard of Rodion.
The Master sat by the window and polished wooden bowl.
-Be sensible! Come on in! What happened? he replied to the greetings of his Grandfather and Tamara.
-Yes well, you see, the two problems we have - the Grandfather smiled and sat down next to the bench.
-What is the first?
Tom turned the mirror on the free table.
-Here. - she said curtly., showing lifeless petals.
-What Wizard? - surprised the Master Rodion
-And this is the second problem - uhmylnulsya Grandfather and handed it to the Master of the pot with a sleeping dragon. He opened blue eyes, saw the master Rodion , smiled and hiccupped... again flame.
Not bad it was fun. Where, did he?
-In the Tavern, a new cognac Masters tasted.
-Something I've been to the Tavern go - seducive said Master Rodion. The grandparents looked at each other knowingly.
-A Mirror? - frustrated Tom asked, knowing that from going to the Tavern elders hardly refuse today.
It you need today? The evening already. - asked the Master. - see you tomorrow okay? After lunch it's ready.
Okay, so I am also in the Tavern will go. With friends long time no see. Will not disturb you - warned Tom, looking at the slightly puzzled faces of grandparents.
In short - everything arrived in the Tavern and fled to their companies. Who and when came home (in any form, it's the details), is a mystery .covered with darkness.
To the Master Rodion Tom went after noon. The sun was shining in colorful foliage. the birds were singing, the sky smiling. It was good!
When I went to the workshop, he saw on the table his fiery mirror. It was in order, the petals are burned, the mirror showed all sorts of different fun stories. Near fussed sober Zoltan. And the Master Rodion finished polishing a wooden bowl. This bowl of Tom just couldn't take my eyes off it, it asked Manila to hand.
What ? Like? - asked the Master
Very. In the hands to hold? - asked Tom
Master handed her a Cup. She was surprisingly heavy. Very simple form, but nevertheless infinitely elegant in its simplicity. It was carved from burls. Small wavy curls beautifully around the bowl. She was warm and fit perfectly folded in cupped palms. his fingers felt pleasantly smooth and slightly hummocky surface. Here Zoltan missed the head.
Oh, this migraine!!! - he complained
-Drink hunt, and too lazy to work? - said the Master Volume, pour some in a bowl of water for him.
What Tamara did. That's just the water did a strange thing in her hands. She suddenly spun SmartCom, crashed on streams that sparkle in the sun with all the colors of the rainbow and it seemed that began to absorb its life-giving force. Then it fell in the bowl and became mirror-smooth. Master Rodion approvingly watched this process. Zoltan grimaced , took the bowl to the handle and gulped. After a minute, the other pained grimace sent to disappear from his toothy face.
-It turned out - grinned the judge.
-Master, what is this bowl?
-Healing, made on the basis of the bowl Mokos. But not as strong, of course . So is the mimic.
-How do you make the bowl, if not a secret.
-Not a secret, just need a lot of patience, knowledge and perseverance.
-Want to see?
-Very!
Yeah, curiosity will take you far.
Yeah it already started. I hope that the journey has only just begun.
-Well, then sit down and watch. It is not clear - just ask, I will not repeat. - the Master warned today.
Meanwhile, he picked up the Cup from the fire that burned in the oven, took a coal and fanned it to flame. From blue sky took blue thread, from Fontanelle took the blue thread, the sun took an orange thread from the land of the green. All the threads the Master brought to the bottom of the bowl, added a flame and spun the bowl on the bench in the sunshine. The strings began their dance of the little Starchikov, twisting the curls around the flame. When they are mixed up in one multi-colored thread, master Rodion took the tip and began to weave strings pattern that very much resembled a pattern of swirls of the Cup.
-Master, you make special under weave pattern bowl?
-Of course, so he will naturally fall on the tree structure and merge with her. For wood it is necessary to weave the pattern in the structure of the wood, to metal and stone under the lattice structure. For metal ideally, of course, weave to add during forging or casting, but if not, then just by polishing of the product. The tree is best taken with hard wood and small annual rings, walnut, cedar, oak, yew, boxwood, cap. artifacts Have a lifetime of the longer, denser fusion of weave and material. Of course, you can take straw, fabric, leather. But such artifacts have a limited life. As soon as a hole in fabric or strap - all properties lost. By the way - and you know how to do needlework??
Tom silently with a mute reproach looked at the Master Rodion.
-Okay, okay. A modern woman!!!
Tom got slightly confused
Well, 20 cm scarf I'll link to more of the nerves is not enough.
And stitching can? Or weave?
-Oddly enough , but even tapestry weave can.
-That's very good ' said the master at work, you can create the magic woven tapestry or sew zagovornye thread in clothes. A lot of women do, often unconsciously , just loving. You know? And so it turns miracle things from persons.
-You know - Tom said thoughtfully.
-Wonderful things you can make from what is at hand. Just need to know exactly what you want to weave a pattern with the desired settings and fasten them on the product.
-And how to fix?
-I do it with runes, but you can just the energy charge.
Master but life, she will work with each person or not?
-Artifacts are often dependent on the operator level. So my Cup does not have any work. The more complex the artifact, the stronger must be the operator.
-So artifact, you can judge the level of a mage?
-To some extent, Yes.
Funny.
Master finished the weaving pattern, put it in the bowl and began to consolidate. With the help of runes. He wove a rune of protection, rune of power and a swastika.
Is a versatile runes. They always need, well, personal seal does not hurt.
And added signature in the pattern. The bowl flickered , sparked and absorbed the shining braid . For a while he glowed the inside of the walls of the bowl and slowly cooled dissolves in the wood.
I'm ready! - rather said master Rodion.
-What beautiful work - said Tom.
-Like? Then I give!! Enjoy!!
-Oh, Master Rodion!! You!! I can't take it! - Tom shook his head.
-Tom, this bowl you have and use it.
-Master Rodion, you have granddaughters and they will work. I can not so simple . Here.
And Tom quickly took the mirror from the table and went to the door. On the threshold stopped, bowed to the Master in the zone.
-Thank you for the offer, but sorry, I can't... and stepped over the threshold.
Came home, put the mirror and began to try to work, but bowl didn't go out of my head.
Then they heard the noise membranous wings and flew out the window Zoltan. In his paws he held a leather pouch. Made a turn on one wing over the head herbalist and dropped the bag in her right hand. Tom opened it and pulled out... a Bowl in her hands sparkle with all shades of warm red-brown color.
-Gifts from the wise men don't need to say no - said the old man, puffing on his pipe...<
Fig is a very powerful weapon, like a laser, and always themselves . Remember-as styes treated? With the help of figs after all!
Like that warm autumn night, Tom was engaged in the diagnosis on a photo using a mirror. It is an interesting thing, at first she was just looking at the picture in its natural form. Photo as photo. In nature, it is quite decent. That's just behind the patient has too many dry twigs, something I don't like it - thought Tom.
And then began to look through the mirror. And in the mirror were interesting things. First appeared the human aura, all stained and torn in places. Then the internal organs, and once it became clear the affected area, and then the skeleton. Here, too, was very interesting. And that's when Tom began to look at obtained multilayered picture, as the mirror blinked, blinked, dazzled and went out... the Petals on the frame as something strange began to tremble and froze absolutely still.
-Well ,here. - angrily said Tom. - Stuck.What now??
-Set up lost - said the Grandfather - it is necessary to call the dragon.
The tiger quickly ran to the open window and roared to the heavens. After a while I heard the distinctive noise membranous wings and flew out the window of the Golden dragon, the Wizard. To fly he flew, but what he was kind!!!! It seemed that the wings are living life and just dragging the unconscious carcass of the dragon on autopilot. Zoltan's eyes were closed and head on a long neck dangled somewhere below the front legs, which stubbornly clutching the bag with the tool.
-Yeah, - handed Grandfather. - Where is he???
Tom caught a dragon by the tail
-Where have you been?
-Beer drinking-answered a menacing dragon and hiccup...with flames
-Eww,the volatile spirit lamp!!!- did Santa -if you're drinking beer, that I was the Loch Ness miracle.
Zoltan opened one blue eye, raised his clawed index finger and proudly said
-And beer too! Where's the patient? - he opened the other eye, fumbled the bag, took out a hammer and flew towards the mirror.
When he approached a dangerous distance to the silver surface, clutching the hammer, the petals of the fiery frame suddenly came to life, bristling and fired into the Zoltan jet flame. The fire covered the whole dragon ,who suddenly sprawled in the fireball, in the bathroom, and obviously relished in it. And then just hung on the frame of the mirror and began to snore, and with tints...
-All caked.
-Yeah, and where is he naugoschalis???-thoughtfully scratched his nose Grandfather
Smells of brandy from my private stock Master - said Tom, gently taking the dragon with the mirror. - recently Dumbledor him a present of a barrel sent me.
-Something I've been to the Tavern did not go - said the Grandfather of the heavens.
-And the mirror what to do? Because I have to work, and Zoltan sleep for three days, four asked Tom.
-And get straight to the Wizard of artifacts it to Rodion. And I'll show you.
-Well, Yes, Yes. It's on the way to the Tavern .
And with Zoltan what to do - asked Tom. looking like a grass-snake tore off two petals of flame from the frame, wrapped them and went to sleep in the resulting fireball.
Ball lightning with Zoltan inside slowly began to drift around the room , occasionally shooting sparks.
-It will burn all inadvertently?
-Mdaa, the problem. Will have to take it with you and carry you to the communal fire. There send him home.
Grandfather had found a large clay pot , wrapped the neck rope, so it was easier to carry and caught a plasma ball . The operation was almost without problems, except that Zoltan sneezed in the dream, the flame and got into the beard of Santa. But a little bit, so the span...
Tom also gathered ,wrapped the mirror in a heat-resistant shawl, put it in the backpack and went with my Grandfather on the path in the Enchanted forest. Passing through the spring in the forest ,Tom asked
-What .if Zoltan dunk in the water? Can sober up?
Then out of the pot popped out a scaly paw and formed in Fig. With thumb dragon fell through a narrow jet flame and cut off the tip of the young tree. Tom just gasped in surprise.
-Figs You! - proudly said Zoltan, and again disappeared in the pot.
-Deed!! What is it?
Fica,a Fig...figure of three fingers-grinned Grandfather.
-But why she shoots?
-Yeah, think about it then? Because the hand is the focus and the end of the energy centers. Fingers when folded into a fist, concentrating all manpower in one place - the centre of the palm, and the thumb is the barrel through which is emitted a charge of the force. It turns out that a Fig is a very powerful weapon, like a laser, and always themselves . Remember-as styes treated? With the help of figs after all!
-Yes - Tom smiled - present police reports from the scene? "Weapon inflicting defeat Guys!"
-To apply using figs serious defeat, it is necessary to have not sickly personal energy, but how will the discharge impact does each.
So in conversation and came to the house of the Master of artefacts.
Knocking, entered the House-workshop. Large bright room was lined with a variety of stanochki, and utensils on the table laid out different instruments, from surgical to forge, near the stove lay churbachki trees of different species, is clearly not for kindling. In the cupboard by the window , with the stack you could see the bars of metal and different colors lumps of raw gems, from simple granite to posverkivaya noble.
In another closet was already finished artifacts. What a party it was! Museum of NII CHAVO IN the Solovtsov would give his entire Fund in a couple of artifacts of the Wizard of Rodion.
The Master sat by the window and polished wooden bowl.
-Be sensible! Come on in! What happened? he replied to the greetings of his Grandfather and Tamara.
-Yes well, you see, the two problems we have - the Grandfather smiled and sat down next to the bench.
-What is the first?
Tom turned the mirror on the free table.
-Here. - she said curtly., showing lifeless petals.
-What Wizard? - surprised the Master Rodion
-And this is the second problem - uhmylnulsya Grandfather and handed it to the Master of the pot with a sleeping dragon. He opened blue eyes, saw the master Rodion , smiled and hiccupped... again flame.
Not bad it was fun. Where, did he?
-In the Tavern, a new cognac Masters tasted.
-Something I've been to the Tavern go - seducive said Master Rodion. The grandparents looked at each other knowingly.
-A Mirror? - frustrated Tom asked, knowing that from going to the Tavern elders hardly refuse today.
It you need today? The evening already. - asked the Master. - see you tomorrow okay? After lunch it's ready.
Okay, so I am also in the Tavern will go. With friends long time no see. Will not disturb you - warned Tom, looking at the slightly puzzled faces of grandparents.
In short - everything arrived in the Tavern and fled to their companies. Who and when came home (in any form, it's the details), is a mystery .covered with darkness.
To the Master Rodion Tom went after noon. The sun was shining in colorful foliage. the birds were singing, the sky smiling. It was good!
When I went to the workshop, he saw on the table his fiery mirror. It was in order, the petals are burned, the mirror showed all sorts of different fun stories. Near fussed sober Zoltan. And the Master Rodion finished polishing a wooden bowl. This bowl of Tom just couldn't take my eyes off it, it asked Manila to hand.
What ? Like? - asked the Master
Very. In the hands to hold? - asked Tom
Master handed her a Cup. She was surprisingly heavy. Very simple form, but nevertheless infinitely elegant in its simplicity. It was carved from burls. Small wavy curls beautifully around the bowl. She was warm and fit perfectly folded in cupped palms. his fingers felt pleasantly smooth and slightly hummocky surface. Here Zoltan missed the head.
Oh, this migraine!!! - he complained
-Drink hunt, and too lazy to work? - said the Master Volume, pour some in a bowl of water for him.
What Tamara did. That's just the water did a strange thing in her hands. She suddenly spun SmartCom, crashed on streams that sparkle in the sun with all the colors of the rainbow and it seemed that began to absorb its life-giving force. Then it fell in the bowl and became mirror-smooth. Master Rodion approvingly watched this process. Zoltan grimaced , took the bowl to the handle and gulped. After a minute, the other pained grimace sent to disappear from his toothy face.
-It turned out - grinned the judge.
-Master, what is this bowl?
-Healing, made on the basis of the bowl Mokos. But not as strong, of course . So is the mimic.
-How do you make the bowl, if not a secret.
-Not a secret, just need a lot of patience, knowledge and perseverance.
-Want to see?
-Very!
Yeah, curiosity will take you far.
Yeah it already started. I hope that the journey has only just begun.
-Well, then sit down and watch. It is not clear - just ask, I will not repeat. - the Master warned today.
Meanwhile, he picked up the Cup from the fire that burned in the oven, took a coal and fanned it to flame. From blue sky took blue thread, from Fontanelle took the blue thread, the sun took an orange thread from the land of the green. All the threads the Master brought to the bottom of the bowl, added a flame and spun the bowl on the bench in the sunshine. The strings began their dance of the little Starchikov, twisting the curls around the flame. When they are mixed up in one multi-colored thread, master Rodion took the tip and began to weave strings pattern that very much resembled a pattern of swirls of the Cup.
-Master, you make special under weave pattern bowl?
-Of course, so he will naturally fall on the tree structure and merge with her. For wood it is necessary to weave the pattern in the structure of the wood, to metal and stone under the lattice structure. For metal ideally, of course, weave to add during forging or casting, but if not, then just by polishing of the product. The tree is best taken with hard wood and small annual rings, walnut, cedar, oak, yew, boxwood, cap. artifacts Have a lifetime of the longer, denser fusion of weave and material. Of course, you can take straw, fabric, leather. But such artifacts have a limited life. As soon as a hole in fabric or strap - all properties lost. By the way - and you know how to do needlework??
Tom silently with a mute reproach looked at the Master Rodion.
-Okay, okay. A modern woman!!!
Tom got slightly confused
Well, 20 cm scarf I'll link to more of the nerves is not enough.
And stitching can? Or weave?
-Oddly enough , but even tapestry weave can.
-That's very good ' said the master at work, you can create the magic woven tapestry or sew zagovornye thread in clothes. A lot of women do, often unconsciously , just loving. You know? And so it turns miracle things from persons.
-You know - Tom said thoughtfully.
-Wonderful things you can make from what is at hand. Just need to know exactly what you want to weave a pattern with the desired settings and fasten them on the product.
-And how to fix?
-I do it with runes, but you can just the energy charge.
Master but life, she will work with each person or not?
-Artifacts are often dependent on the operator level. So my Cup does not have any work. The more complex the artifact, the stronger must be the operator.
-So artifact, you can judge the level of a mage?
-To some extent, Yes.
Funny.
Master finished the weaving pattern, put it in the bowl and began to consolidate. With the help of runes. He wove a rune of protection, rune of power and a swastika.
Is a versatile runes. They always need, well, personal seal does not hurt.
And added signature in the pattern. The bowl flickered , sparked and absorbed the shining braid . For a while he glowed the inside of the walls of the bowl and slowly cooled dissolves in the wood.
I'm ready! - rather said master Rodion.
-What beautiful work - said Tom.
-Like? Then I give!! Enjoy!!
-Oh, Master Rodion!! You!! I can't take it! - Tom shook his head.
-Tom, this bowl you have and use it.
-Master Rodion, you have granddaughters and they will work. I can not so simple . Here.
And Tom quickly took the mirror from the table and went to the door. On the threshold stopped, bowed to the Master in the zone.
-Thank you for the offer, but sorry, I can't... and stepped over the threshold.
Came home, put the mirror and began to try to work, but bowl didn't go out of my head.
Then they heard the noise membranous wings and flew out the window Zoltan. In his paws he held a leather pouch. Made a turn on one wing over the head herbalist and dropped the bag in her right hand. Tom opened it and pulled out... a Bowl in her hands sparkle with all shades of warm red-brown color.
-Gifts from the wise men don't need to say no - said the old man, puffing on his pipe...<
