Poroshenko booed in Zurich
18+ (profanity)
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Humor
If you want to bury something,give it to Baba...(C)Re: Humor
One night the wife wakes the President of Ukraine Petro Poroshenko, "Peter, Wake up, there Zaharchenko rings about compliance with the truce." Poroshenko picks up the phone and sleepily said, "Hello." Wife says: "You did not realize it at the door!".
Re: Humor
Once a man planned to summon a demon to sell your soul to him. For thirty years he was looking for a secret ritual, twenty years collecting rare ingredients, ten years drew mysterious signs. And when he lit the black candles in the corners of the pentagram, he heard:
– Your call is very important to us! Please stay on the line...
– Your call is very important to us! Please stay on the line...
Re: Humor
Phone detective
I got into the habit then my phone discharged. No, it is clear that Android, it is clear that the battery is weak. So to discharge after a day of active use I had no complaints. But! The fastest phone was dead just not when I'm on it for hours chasing balls or listening to music. Just no. The fastest charge left when the phone was not used at all. No way.
That is, absolutely not. I have a few days there was sick, never left the house, and the phone all this time was in his pants pocket. Didn't call, email, looked, did nothing - and it beeps "master, I'm hungry!". Mystery. But that's not all!
( Collapse )
He was discharged from a standstill is also uneven. When over half a day to zero left, and when three days ten percent spent. I didn't use it, repeat. But it is not enough that is discharged, and by some strange algorithm. Asshole.
Reluctant to believe in mysticism. Even phones, like, in this weather does not want to work.
But I like a man spoiled secular education, to eliminate natural causes. So, the phone is dying, just lying in your pants pocket. The fact that the number of times. The phone in my pants pocket it runs out of power, is not discharged. Fact number two. The phone itself remains unchanged: far from me and is not included. Not calling, not writing, not playing. So what? Then change something else that affects the phone so mysteriously.
That surrounds the phone? For example, a Trouser pocket. What do we have here? Pants I haven't worn, never left the house, they were lying on a chair... lying on the chair... but, no! They were lying on two chairs! Or right of the bed, or on the left! The difference was found, but at what here phone?
Investigative experiment put everything in its place. The phone really was dead in zero pants pocket on the left chair and wasted energy in the same pocket, but the chair is right.
It turned out to be in my place of residence. Village. And the base station signal is weak here. On the right the chair by the bedroom window it had enough, but on the left, in the corner of the concrete walls, it lacked quite a bit. So the phone constantly, he was lost, searched for, found and lost again.
Here's the deal.
Author :the Terminator with a Bow (exlibrisss)<
I got into the habit then my phone discharged. No, it is clear that Android, it is clear that the battery is weak. So to discharge after a day of active use I had no complaints. But! The fastest phone was dead just not when I'm on it for hours chasing balls or listening to music. Just no. The fastest charge left when the phone was not used at all. No way.
That is, absolutely not. I have a few days there was sick, never left the house, and the phone all this time was in his pants pocket. Didn't call, email, looked, did nothing - and it beeps "master, I'm hungry!". Mystery. But that's not all!
( Collapse )
He was discharged from a standstill is also uneven. When over half a day to zero left, and when three days ten percent spent. I didn't use it, repeat. But it is not enough that is discharged, and by some strange algorithm. Asshole.
Reluctant to believe in mysticism. Even phones, like, in this weather does not want to work.
But I like a man spoiled secular education, to eliminate natural causes. So, the phone is dying, just lying in your pants pocket. The fact that the number of times. The phone in my pants pocket it runs out of power, is not discharged. Fact number two. The phone itself remains unchanged: far from me and is not included. Not calling, not writing, not playing. So what? Then change something else that affects the phone so mysteriously.
That surrounds the phone? For example, a Trouser pocket. What do we have here? Pants I haven't worn, never left the house, they were lying on a chair... lying on the chair... but, no! They were lying on two chairs! Or right of the bed, or on the left! The difference was found, but at what here phone?
Investigative experiment put everything in its place. The phone really was dead in zero pants pocket on the left chair and wasted energy in the same pocket, but the chair is right.
It turned out to be in my place of residence. Village. And the base station signal is weak here. On the right the chair by the bedroom window it had enough, but on the left, in the corner of the concrete walls, it lacked quite a bit. So the phone constantly, he was lost, searched for, found and lost again.
Here's the deal.
Author :the Terminator with a Bow (exlibrisss)<
Last edited by ЛИЛИЯ-Р on Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:42, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Humor
"...During my short period of work in the theater of Stanislavsky and Nemirovich-Danchenko, in 1994, the theatre management decided to conduct the so-called "exchange festival", one of the chips which was a-kapellen program for Opera chorus. The second branch consisted of academic versions of Russian folk songs. In parallel with the entertainer of the announcement of the offer was duplicated by two interpreters in the English and French languages - a room full of aliens, what do you think!
Oil painting:
- Russian folk song - solemnly announces the compere, processing Chinenkova "Oh, you canopy, my canopy"!
- Russian folk song, - so jauntily duplicates into the microphone, the first interpreter, elaboracin buy Senecoff... - then there's a pause, obviously for understanding the translation, and then a slightly trembling voice, - "On hall, may hall..."
The choir is on stage finely-finely shook all tried to contain hysterical laughter. Conductor eyes bulged and swayed strangely.
The French interpreter was more difficult:
- Of kansen Halles Russe - hopefully he started into the microphone backstage - elaboration du Sineng-off, and then fell into some absolutely obscene stupor that lasted twenty seconds. Then resignedly said: "the Lobby is the lobby... Mon..."
The choir doubled over from the mighty Russian laughter - senseless and merciless: horse whinny bass, the tenors pohryukivanie, hysterical vzvinchivanie cefalù, and sobbing "Oh, BL*-I-can-never!" Alto group choir, followed by smearing the cosmetics on the face, three of laughter fell folders with notes - the scores were scattered across the scene, triggering a new attack.
The foreign audience was delighted, for he thought that now the way it should, and you would think?! French interpreter wept bitterly behind the scenes, and the conductor called an ambulance..."
"...At times, translated into foreign language Russian Proverbs, sayings, and songs, when there is no direct counterparts can be difficult. Mistakes happen, but WHAT! Especially if it is a reverse translation of a translation (i.e., when the first Russian text was translated into in.lang., and then back to PDF).
In short, share the good mood:
- A fallen woman helps accelerate the promotion of transport. (A woman with a cart - the Mare is easier);
- The smell is strong, although the meat is softened. (this phrase is from the Bible - strong in spirit though weak flesh);
- Oh, the lobby is my lobby, you're my new lobby, lobby I have a new, maple wood, with bars... (Rus. Nar. the song "Oh, you canopy, my canopy, my new canopy, new canopy, maple and of lattice handiwork...""<
Oil painting:
- Russian folk song - solemnly announces the compere, processing Chinenkova "Oh, you canopy, my canopy"!
- Russian folk song, - so jauntily duplicates into the microphone, the first interpreter, elaboracin buy Senecoff... - then there's a pause, obviously for understanding the translation, and then a slightly trembling voice, - "On hall, may hall..."
The choir is on stage finely-finely shook all tried to contain hysterical laughter. Conductor eyes bulged and swayed strangely.
The French interpreter was more difficult:
- Of kansen Halles Russe - hopefully he started into the microphone backstage - elaboration du Sineng-off, and then fell into some absolutely obscene stupor that lasted twenty seconds. Then resignedly said: "the Lobby is the lobby... Mon..."
The choir doubled over from the mighty Russian laughter - senseless and merciless: horse whinny bass, the tenors pohryukivanie, hysterical vzvinchivanie cefalù, and sobbing "Oh, BL*-I-can-never!" Alto group choir, followed by smearing the cosmetics on the face, three of laughter fell folders with notes - the scores were scattered across the scene, triggering a new attack.
The foreign audience was delighted, for he thought that now the way it should, and you would think?! French interpreter wept bitterly behind the scenes, and the conductor called an ambulance..."
"...At times, translated into foreign language Russian Proverbs, sayings, and songs, when there is no direct counterparts can be difficult. Mistakes happen, but WHAT! Especially if it is a reverse translation of a translation (i.e., when the first Russian text was translated into in.lang., and then back to PDF).
In short, share the good mood:
- A fallen woman helps accelerate the promotion of transport. (A woman with a cart - the Mare is easier);
- The smell is strong, although the meat is softened. (this phrase is from the Bible - strong in spirit though weak flesh);
- Oh, the lobby is my lobby, you're my new lobby, lobby I have a new, maple wood, with bars... (Rus. Nar. the song "Oh, you canopy, my canopy, my new canopy, new canopy, maple and of lattice handiwork...""<
Re: Humor
Comrades honestly tried.
Some are just "wags".
the Art of translation
In 1945 a Soviet Marshal he visited the Dresden gallery. The rights of the winner is to select the images for the living room. The Director of the gallery, trembling, asked Marshall: "Painting a school you prefer?". The interpreter translates the question. "Well, I like to have women and horses," replied the Marshal. "Comrade Marshal prefers the Flemish school." - the interpreter speaks.
It is encouraging that the high art of diplomatic translation is not deteriorated in the new century, writes "Novaya Gazeta" and cites an example from recent history.
"If you want to become a real radical Islamist and are ready to undergo circumcision, then I invite you to Moscow. We have many different religions. We have experts in this field. I would advise them that they had the operation so that you have nothing more increased," - said President Putin at the summit Russia - EU.
"If you want to become a radical Islamist and be circumcised, come to Moscow. We is a multiconfessional, multiethnic state. Please come. In Moscow are tolerant of everybody and everything" - translated translator.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/russian/press/ ... 478945.stm
Some are just "wags".
the Art of translation
In 1945 a Soviet Marshal he visited the Dresden gallery. The rights of the winner is to select the images for the living room. The Director of the gallery, trembling, asked Marshall: "Painting a school you prefer?". The interpreter translates the question. "Well, I like to have women and horses," replied the Marshal. "Comrade Marshal prefers the Flemish school." - the interpreter speaks.
It is encouraging that the high art of diplomatic translation is not deteriorated in the new century, writes "Novaya Gazeta" and cites an example from recent history.
"If you want to become a real radical Islamist and are ready to undergo circumcision, then I invite you to Moscow. We have many different religions. We have experts in this field. I would advise them that they had the operation so that you have nothing more increased," - said President Putin at the summit Russia - EU.
"If you want to become a radical Islamist and be circumcised, come to Moscow. We is a multiconfessional, multiethnic state. Please come. In Moscow are tolerant of everybody and everything" - translated translator.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/russian/press/ ... 478945.stm
