I have roughly the same problem now as Lily.
The most insulting that such a situation was that way 10 years ago.
You can say that then realized it virtually impossible option.
I even understand how it worked. But specifically to repeat right now.

And I understand why.
Short. I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to do, what to earn a living. (then again, I never knew about it and not read everything of what I know now. Maybe not printsipilnye more, but still. Plus a little bit of life experience. This I mean that the others I was little...)
But it so happened that I managed this situation to let go. Gradually, but so gone from constant thoughts and search.
As I now understand, I do completely let go of the issue. Thank you Vselennoi (the Creator or whom) she gave me the opportunity. Some external conditions that allowed me some time "to warm up" on the question of work.
I passed the interview (was not the only candidate) and was accepted! If you consider my experience at that time and the position to which I was admitted - the conclusion(for most normal people) to be - lucky enough. I thought so myself and tried not to tense up and cling to her hard, which I believe helped me to stay there.
But life goes on, everything changes. People become older, some wiser, and some even grow spiritually. Was really hoping the last points for me are slightly.
The situation of self-determination arose again.

Maybe I have a classic case of age transitional stages.

Then, I had one, now another.
Lily, I think that the fact that people even need to think about your purpose and not happy with the current (if the current does not go to him in the development), said in his favor.
As you can see, the case was a classic. You have all realized the goal set. Long she pondered. Now it is important to let go (forget). But the best (and maybe only) way to do this is to replace. Te switch your attention! Sure to be thinking that everything is fine. Yes, You don't know what's good for You. But decide that as well as is te pause or that You can afford not to think about it. (and with the other hand so much time, thought, thought... help? just to think of the other

) And until you can meditate for any other purpose, think about your friend (health, development of attention, imagination, psychic-x abilities, etc). But also not Intrusive.
I don't slip. Since reading, I read a lot, but the workouts were not in a hurry.
I wrote it to confirm - Yes, it works.
It remains to translate again!
This is the most difficult for me. Always find a cause, and "excuses"
All the best
Gregory<