The experimenter:
I was prescribed Phenotropil, it seems to me like every second with neurotic ailments - weak type of nervous system and increased excitability. Tried. Abandoned. Why? The anxiety will not go away, and intensified, and suddenly gets used, and how long will it take? and what aftereffects?
Phenotropil nootropics - sedative - and then? Tranquilizers and hypnotics?
Fig. In front of me somehow spun it is this picture...
Felt she would adjust easily ,and may even not physically, mentally for sure.
I got the idea to put my impressions, I think not in vain, maybe someone in the thread who thinks and is not solved, it will be useful, and the one who was the lucky winner - I wonder.
Although at first just wanted to say thanks to Andrew. Andrew, you did a Titanic work, and this is a Titanic result. Explorer – works! The only thing I regret that it took so long to decide... after All, my last post of 29 Oct.
15.12.2007
Today is the first day I decided ... Long pondered, weighed, did not dare. Yesterday I received a mind machine. Today at twelve o'clock at noon, started the session Patrushev Explore.
To track subsequent changes that will occur with me to better understand what these changes actually take place, not just a figment of my sometimes overly exuberant imagination, here I describe their condition: emotional, physical, mental, as I understand and am aware of at the moment. Objective and subjective understanding.
Objectively: no work, no relationships, no lasting relationships, no Hobbies (activities that brings pleasure and personal interest), lack of personal opinion (agreement or/and the use of truisms), the lack of strong knowledge on a given topic, personal disinterest. Can't judge about the emotional component objective opinion of himself,- no opposite opinion, ask about it don't see the point, as regards physics and psyche. This brief description of the objective reality in a social environment, I think enough notion of my real position.
Subjective: emotions: mood swings depending on purely personal reasons (why is individual – can be found at the beginning of this topic, SOT.tel. I still haven't included. A feeling that can not cope with the selected SOC.role still overcame the desire to communicate, and how to lead a line of dialogue with an interlocutor, where, why news and why should I, if I don't organize parties, and calls to off a SIM card coming in... though it took six months as I turned off the phone And the situation is such that alternative profession/the position/work is not, rather has not yet seen and did not seem in the form of a thought-image or in the form of specific objectives even more so. The same friends, acquaintances, girls... - no strong feelings, no fun, no informational value, because they were all just a reflection of my selected games
.
Finally, the emotional level: the optimistic thoughts that came to mind, good/annoying song, good/bad view from the window, strained from a "friend" that is already zayuzat my computer!! What can you do? To communicate something how it is necessary! And soon, damn it, the skill of socialization in General will lose, but now without this in any way. Oh, and not to communicate, but rather to obtain information slag, Yes, even processed through its specific understanding of life... Zadolbali! – That was such an emotional background.
Physics: almost 20 hours at home, almost 10 hours on the computer daily, and almost the rest of the time in the lying position, hence: aching pain in the spine between the upper thoracic and lower thoracic divisions (about a month or two), aching pain in the coccyx (three weeks), pulling to stretch, poklonnitsa – doing, there is a crunch, comes some searing pain, etc., periodically starts to shoot at the legs, in short, something like that.
Psyche: mentioned briefly about the inattention, distraction, etc., won't stop. You are thinking about, briefly: almost any information you get causes irritation, thoughts of "you don't need it", "lip service" nonsense, nonsense, slag, useless information, negativity is passed on to the source... and somehow automatically turns on protection or something: thoughts about future work on the read information, how this info to use for profit how to recycle with your own life. Experience, views, and here clap and internal statement: "Hell, Yes, what good could be from all of this, if you, my friend, even no own opinion, if you like ass, everyone is always nodding and fester anger... if you all looked useless, well, except that the "institution" of Dating that is identical to the "breeding"... to satisfy her own ego and fragile sense of fame and popularity, and changed you, and tormented, and mocked him, vinyl, was angry, only for burning desire to conform, that's just what? Or whom? Perhaps the egregore of fame and popularity. All the thoughts that was how to maintain, develop, razrulit... your brand, your name. In fact, to provide comfort and security to satisfy the claim to fulfill the desires, and, in fact, it's so easy when second place in the ranking of Pro... But that's just not with their own hands and the hands of others for the sake of which I all did, which I think more and more about yourself. And all thoughts. The result: real thoughts about finding a job, becoming a turn into fantasy is there-and that's where gutka or self-criticism. At the same time all the movements of the soul come to an end.
- those crazy. level.
Okay, enough of the lyrics now about the Explorer.
Will try to be brief.
Used audiostrobe, glasses colortrack. Liked the "wave of the sea", the aquamarine and another shade of green. First, there was not a very pleasant feeling. The feeling of anxiety, worry, what with the blinking points, thought to remove to listen to just the headphones, then I thought, how will I know if I have photoepilepsy that estestvenno currently attributed, when it became unpleasant.
Then decided to leave and not regret it.
Members, who-thread had such anxiety at the beginning, in the beginning of the session with active gate (maybe 20 minutes)?
During the session train kept I blacked out completely. Wanted to let go of your thoughts and consciousness, but the fear of letting go kept in semi-consciousness. Maybe I think that kept. This condition I had when I tried to meditate before going to sleep. Aware of his state of consciousness, location in space, reading and is characterized by emerging thoughts, and, after, the fragment is perceived vaguely and kind of distant. And even feared that involuntarily open my eyes during care of in a trance and clenched eyelids, but not for long.
Of physical Sensations I remember the pouring of energy through the body, but the limbs remained cold. When the flow of energy went through my spine inner feeling is difficult to pass, it's like a sensual thrill, wonder whether comparison, but orgasmic.
Such like no one else on the forum did not describe...
Was moaning softly like a little heart and something was felt in his right leg. And yet. In the fragment about the flavors of the universe, the tastes there was some sense of joy, admiration or what, and interestingly after the session, when after a few hours opened jar of coffee, I caught the smell of coffee, and the aroma is quite sharp, until then, I have not experienced all the same every day it begins... also pepper, is associated solely with the Conductor.
Well, now for the final part of my essay, the most pleasant feeling after... in Addition to the scents that I caught distinctly, the back was completely (!!!) Just now while writing this, a little pull, but that's nothing compared to the searing angry pain that I had before... Energy, feelings of euphoria, wrote about it Dimas also became my faithful companions in these three hours, in about an hour after "receiving" conductor
This is as a result a clear understanding that all transactions started doing it is easier and faster, the better. Of course, now I have to do a little... BUT quickly ran through fresh articles in the Internet, usually sit as down, slowly get what was going on, played very well with the chess coach.
That is interesting. When I was working at parties, liked to come home and read the American hip-hop with the author. Here also wanted. Appeared basictest and richness in her voice which I had forgotten in six months. What is most surprising, I've been practicing trying to hit the notes on particularly melodic RnB, and I can't believe it, kind of started to get... although, as they say, the bear's ear.
In summary: emotions like smoother, the physical condition has clearly improved, it can be seen from the post, psyche: delusions like became less.
About such effect to assume it was possible, but what happens next is just not predictable!
While decided to postpone the Massage, think of a Conductor is clearly enough
Andrew, You are a genius!
If the goal you want to put: "I trust yourself to make the changes yourself with tranquility and joy" Although I was probably in the theme of "self-Hypnosis and proper goal setting".
In General, while so!
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Immediately climbed all the negativity, neadykvat, thoughts nesostoiatelnosti, etc. interspersed with memories of childhood and Podrobnosti little emotionally pleasant. In General, all the mental stuff that I have forgotten what it is, hard earning social. status... In General, all my work on myself as the wind blew
. By the way, stress, anxiety, aggression, depression, affective irritability, poor memory and attention ... and is, in General, the effects weak or strong-excitable neurology 
. So, my neurologist prescribed nootropics, just tell them no I'm crashing and traction 
but they give increased strength and mind 
).
